You
know a member of StarFleet is a redneck when:
His shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
He refers to Klingons as "Critters"
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger
and aluminum foil
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer
section
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead
of "open hailing frequencies"
He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun
rack above it
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
He sets the foreword view screen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and
turnip greens
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
His idea of a dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
He sets his phaser to "Cajun"
This
content is not necessarily our original content, and
we don't take any credit for it, except to let you enjoy
it.
|